Finding Her Place
by lox.and.riley
Summary: Sarah Margaret Curtis thought she knew her place in the world but her parents' deaths turn her entire world upside down, forcing her to face the fact that she really has no idea where she belongs.
1. Chapter 1

This is a Curtis sister fic that is being co-written by Xocrazililkelox and RileysMomma. We're going out of our way to keep her from becoming a MarySue and from falling prey to cliche sister!fic plot devices. We sincerely hope you enjoy it.

DISCLAIMER: We do not own the Outsiders nor are we profiting financially from this work in any way.

Author's Note: This fic is being posted as part of "Good Fic Day," an effort to raise the quality of writing here. We hope to encourage more writers to improve the quality of their own fan fiction - spell check, grammar check, keep the gang in character, outline, plot and don't use Mary Sues. Good fan fiction requires effort, and we would like to encourage other writers to rise to the challenge of producing better fan fiction, not only for our readers, but for S.E. Hinton, who created the wonderful book we are trying to honor.

Many thanks to our wonderful beta, ShotgunOpera, who rocks hard core.

* * *

Chapter1

Saturday May 7th, 1966:

Sarah smoothed the invisible wrinkle on her skirt as she walked down the long hallway next to Darry. "Maybe Ponyboy should wait out here," she suggested, glancing up at her brother. "At least until we're sure things are okay."

"Pony should see Gram just like the rest of us should see Gram," Darry told her - despite the fact that he himself was feeling the same reservations. The last couple of times he had brought Sarah down to the nursing home to pick up and drop off the laundry, their grandmother had seemed a little ... off.

She sucked in a breath when they stopped in front of their grandmother's room at the nursing home. She nervously played with the cross around her neck as she looked back at her younger brothers. Sodapop was little on edge and Ponyboy was quiet - which wasn't normal for either one of them. "Darry, maybe you should warn them, just in case."

Darry shook his head. He knew it was likely just wishful thinking on his part but he really hoped that this would be one of her good days and that she'd have a decent grip on reality.

Sarah stood by in the doorway while her brothers walked past into her the room. Darry walked over to her first, bending down beside her chair and kissing her cheek.

"Hey, Gram," he greeted. His hopes for a normal visit were dashed when she looked up at him with a blank expression, almost as if she didn't recognize who he was.

Sarah linked her free arm with Ponyboy's and looked cautiously toward her grandmother. Margaret Daniels sat in her chair near the window, looking much like she had for Sarah's entire life. But Sarah could almost tell by the vacant look in her grandmother's eyes when she looked at her older brother that this was going to be one of those bad days, the ones she was almost desperate to keep hidden from Ponyboy - and even from Soda.

"Darrel?" she asked, glancing at him. "Where's my Sarah?"

"She's right over there, Gram," Darry said, pointing over to where his sister was standing with their younger brothers. He was beginning to think Sarah had been right and they should have had the boys wait out in the hallway; this was going to be one of those bad days. Their grandmother had always called her Sarah Margaret - never Sarah or any other nickname - from the day she was born. She'd called their mother Sarah.

Sodapop glanced over at her, his eyebrows scrunched in confusion, and she tried to give him a reassuring smile before responding to their grandmother. "How are you feeling, Gram?" Sarah asked, letting go of Ponyboy's arm and moving towards the window. An emotional lump was growing in her throat and the more she tried to swallow it down the more it seemed to grow.

"There you are dear," Margaret said, smiling as she kissed Sarah's cheek. She looked past her and then back at her, a confused look on her face. "Who are these young men and where are my grandchildren?" Sarah bit back a sob as soon as she heard Ponyboy gasp. She wanted to kick herself; she knew she should have fought harder to make Darry let the boys stay home - or at least wait for them in the hall. It was bad enough for the two of them to have to have her think they were their parents; Soda and Pony really didn't need to have to witness it.

"They're Sodapop and Ponyboy, Mom," Sarah said, feeling guilty for playing along. She didn't want to be the one to push her over the edge completely by telling her that her daughter had passed away - again. "You probably can't tell because they were little boys the last time you saw them. They've grown up into handsome young men, haven't they?"

"Oh, that's right," she said, looking at her two youngest grandchildren with a confused expression on her face. "Sarah, where are Darry and Sarah Margaret? Why didn't they come with you?"

Sarah heard a strangled noise come from one of her younger brothers - she thought it might have been Soda but she couldn't be sure - and fought to keep her composure.

Fortunately, Darry realized that she wasn't going to be able to answer her and stepped in to do it for her.

"No, not this time, Margaret," he said, shooting an apologetic look back to his younger brothers. "Maybe next time."

Her grandmother glanced at her and Sarah plastered a smile on her face, determined to keep up the charade. "Are you and your sister still bickering?" their grandmother asked, pointing an accusing finger at Sodapop.

Sodapop looked to Sarah for some indication as to what he should say. He might have been the most annoying little brother ever to walk the face of the planet, but it still broke her heart to see the anguished look on his face. She took a deep breath, steeling herself to try to be convincing and held her hand out to her little brother, nodding to let him know that it was okay to answer her.

"We're getting along a lot better now." Sodapop said, running his hand through his greasy hair and then wiping it on his jeans when he'd realized what he'd done.

"Good. You know the way you two are fighting just about kills your mother. You make her feel like the middleman in a tug-of-war."

Sarah felt Ponyboy whimper beside her and took hold of his arm again, trying to offer him some small amount of comfort. She was going to have a long talk with Darry ... the boys had already been through enough, they shouldn't have to be subjected to this too.

"Yes ma'am, I know," Soda said, his voice strained as he looked over at Sarah. "We're trying a lot harder to get along now."

Sarah shot Darry a look to encourage him to change the subject, anything to try to make it easier for the two choked up boys beside her.

"Gram, did Ponyboy tell you he got moved up a grade?" Darry asked, trying to lighten the conversation.

Margaret's eyes lit up a little at that piece of information.

"Really now?" she asked, smiling at her youngest grandson. "You always were a smart little thing, Ponyboy."

Sarah felt Soda flinch beside her and tightened her grip on his hand. She knew that it had always bothered him that all three of his siblings had been good in school when he hadn't been. She felt bad for him; it wasn't his fault he'd taken after their father that way and it certainly didn't make him stupid the way he thought it did.

Ponyboy gave her a little smile." I -I'm thinking about going for track."

"And into sports like your big brother, too," she said, looking from Ponyboy to Soda. "What about you Sodapop? How are your classes going?"

Soda flinched next to his sister again. He wasn't entirely sure how to answer their grandmother's question. He got the impression that telling her he'd dropped out of high school to help Darry support the family wasn't a good idea.

Sarah sighed in relief when an orderly walked into the room and announced that visiting hours were over. She glanced at the clock on the wall to see that it indeed said six o'clock. She'd known they should've left the house earlier - but a big part of her was grateful that they hadn't. Just those few minutes they'd spent with their grandmother were probably more than Soda or Pony could really handle.

She pushed her younger brothers forward to get them to kiss their grandmother goodbye. She was fairly certain that, after this episode, it was probably going to be the last time they would be visiting - at least if she had any say so in the matter. They hesitated, but they each bent over to kiss her cheek, the smell of her perfume making both of them choke up - it was the same fragrance their mother had worn.

"I'll see you next week, Sarah?" her grandmother asked as the orderly helped her back to her bed after Sarah had kissed her goodbye and stepped out of the way.

"Of course, Mom," she told her, a fake smile on her face to mask the agony that calling someone other than her own mother "mom" caused her. "It'll be just us girls."

Darry took one look at Sarah and knew it was time to get her out of there. She'd done a good job holding it together for the boys, but even his tough little sister had a breaking point. He kissed their grandmother goodbye and ushered the three of them out, signaling for them to keep their mouths shut until they were back outside. The last thing he wanted was for their grandmother to overhear them and end up having another breakdown. She'd all but lost touch with reality after the accident and playing along with her was the least they could do. He didn't think any of them could handle being responsible for delivering the blow that sent her completely over the edge.

* * * * *

Nothing much was said after they left the nursing home. No one was really in the mood to talk. After a simple dinner, Sarah locked herself in her bedroom for the night. Dallas was outside in the living room lying low after another fight with his on again and off again girlfriend, Sylvia, and she was too emotionally exhausted to go head to head with him. Once behind her locked door, she wrapped herself in her mother's bathrobe and lay down on her bed to let her tears fall. She hated to admit it, even if only to herself, but the visits with her grandmother sucked the life and energy right out of her. She was drained. It had taken everything she had in her not to break down like a baby when her grandmother hadn't recognized Soda and Pony. And then when she'd been forced to call her "Mom" instead of "Gram" ... it had nearly killed her.

There was a knock on her door and Sarah groaned, wondering why, for once in her life, she couldn't just be left alone. "Hey, Sarah?" That was Soda's voice. "Me and Steve are going to the Double, wanna come?"

"No thanks, Sodapop," Sarah said, wiping her eyes. "Y'all have fun."

"You sure?" He was persistent and Sarah sighed, reminding herself that he just trying to cheer her up and not intentionally being a pain in the rear end. "You can even invite Sheldon."

"Yes!" she snapped, a little harsher than she'd intended. She took a deep breath and got better control of her voice. "I'm sorry, Soda; I'm not feeling too well."

"I think Pony and Johnny are going to come, too," he said, ignoring the way Steve was rolling his eyes at his persistence and trying to pull him away from the door.

Sarah felt a small smile touch the corners of her mouth. If both of her younger brothers were going to the drive-in, she would have the house to herself. Saturday night was Darry's one free night a week that he actually tried to go out and do something fun. She knew for a fact that he had plans that particular night with a cute secretary he'd met in his boss's office.

"Have fun, and while you're at it," she said from her place on her bed, "take Dallas with you."

Soda knew something was up with his sister when she told them to take Dallas to the movie with them. Everyone took for granted that Dallas pretty much came and went as he pleased - even Sarah. If she was telling him to take Dallas with them, she really wanted to be left alone.

"Why?" She heard Dallas from the other side of the door. "She wants to be left alone with Sheldon for the night?"

Sarah scowled. She didn't have any intention of inviting Roger over while her brothers were gone. She was planning to take advantage of having the place completely to herself by locking herself in the bathroom to take a long, hot bubble bath without interruption or having a time limit placed on her. That was her personal idea of heaven.

"Come on man, let's go," Sodapop said, giving up on trying to persuade his sister to join them.

"You know, Sarah Margaret, just because I go to the movies with your brother don't mean I'll stay there," Dallas told her, giving her door a thump with his fist.

She stuck her tongue out at her bedroom door but smiled triumphantly when she heard his heavy boot steps heading down the hall.

* * * * *

A few hours later, relaxed after a long hot soak in a tub full of Mr. Bubble with a trashy romance novel, Sarah sat on the couch with a cup of hot tea, watching an old late night movie with the lights out - except for the porch light. Darry was still out on his date and Ponyboy was still out with Sodapop at the drive-in. She snuggled into her mother's bathrobe and pulled the old wool blanket over her lap before curling into the corner of the couch to enjoy a movie in peace and quiet for a change.

She rubbed her eyes when she heard footsteps coming up the porch. She looked over to see that the TV screen was back to the test pattern and realized that she must have fallen asleep during the movie. She stretched sleepily as Darry came through the door and flipped the switch to turn on the small lamp on the end table. He stopped in his tracks when he saw her and she gave him a sleepy smile, having forgotten what she was wearing - at least until she saw his reaction.

"How was the date?" she asked, choosing to ignore the look he was giving her as she sat up on the couch.

He shook his head, trying to block out the memory of the Mother's Day morning just the year before when the four of them had presented their mother with the brand new fuzzy pink terry cloth bathrobe to replace the old one she'd worn for years.

"Darry ..."

"The date was fine," he said, trying to pretend that he wasn't bothered by what he saw. "Donna seems like a nice girl."

She sighed, pulling a lose strand of hair behind her ear. "But you're not going to see her again, right?"

He gave her a tired look. They'd been over it a hundred times - he didn't really have time for a serious girlfriend - not when he had three teenagers to take care of. He didn't remind her of the last part too often and when he did he usually dropped that number down to two. She hated being lumped into the "kid" category with her younger brothers.

"Did I say that?"

"You didn't have to," Sarah told him, giving him an exasperated look.

She winced when he flipped the switch to turn on the overhead light before placing his jacket on the coat rack. She glanced at the clock it was eleven-thirty. "No plans with Roger tonight?" he asked, doing his best to change the subject.

"No, I never get the house to myself. I wanted to enjoy it. Can't I stay home without there being a crisis?"

He rolled his eyes at her and walked over to the couch, sitting down at the opposite end from her, turning so he could look at her face to face.

"You wanna tell me what's going on?" he asked, pointing to the bathrobe she was wearing. "Or are you going to make me guess?

She glanced down at the old wool blanket covering her lap. "Not really," she told him.

"This is about what happened with gram today, isn't it?" It came out more as a statement than a question but Sarah still nodded. Darry sighed and pulled her feet onto his lap. "I know it's hard for you to have to call her 'Mom' ..."

"Really, Darry," she said, looking him in the eyes. Sarah knew her brother had enough burdens as it was and he seemed to be in a good mood; she didn't want to bring him down with her. "I just wanted a night alone. Would you rather I invited Roger over?"

"Sarah Margaret, you know as well as I do that you don't pull out Mom's bathrobe just because you wanted a night alone," he told her, holding on to her foot when she tried to pull it away from him. "Talk to me, honey. I can't help make it better if I don't know what's wrong."

Sarah let out a shaky breath and glanced back down at the blanket. "You obviously know what's bothering me. So what's talking about it going to do?" she asked, feeling tears burn her eyes.

Darry gave her an exasperated look. He wasn't stupid; he knew there were lots of things that bothered Sarah that she kept to herself because she didn't want to make him worry about her too. She couldn't get it through her head that he worried about her anyway - and he worried even more when he knew she was hiding things from him.

"I don't think this feeling," Sarah said, speaking up, "this grief ever goes away. And seeing Gram like that ... and having her think I'm Momma ... and then Ponyboy and Soda saw her like that and... and ... Darry we can't do that to them again. It ain't fair."

"I know, I was just hoping she'd be having a better day," Darry said, running a hand through his hair.

Sarah sat up and scooted closer to her brother, giving him a sad look.

"Darry, I don't think there's such a thing as a better day for Gram anymore," she said, frowning as something her grandmother had said came back to her. "Hey Dar?"

"Yeah honey?"

"What Gram said earlier ... about me and Soda," Sarah started, a lump of tears rapidly forming in her throat, "do you think ... do you think that it was really that bad? For Momma, I mean. Do you think that me and Soda arguing like we do - did - upset her as much as Gram says it did?"

"You can't listen to what Gram says," Darry said, feeling uncomfortable with the subject. He knew their mother hated it when he and his siblings didn't get along but he wasn't about to tell her that. He sighed when he heard footsteps up the porch. At least they were on time for their curfew.

Sarah nodded, but his answer didn't make her feel any better. Her grandmother's loose grip on reality didn't change things and she couldn't help but think that there had to be at least some truth to what she'd said. She heard her younger brothers' voices as they came closer to the door and she shot Darry a look.

"Darry, they don't have to go back there," she told him, giving a look that she hoped told him she was serious and that it wasn't up for discussion. "It ain't fair to make them have to go through that. It's bad enough for us to do it."

He looked at her for a second and then blew out a sigh. He wasn't going to argue with her, especially since she had a point. He didn't get a chance to say anything; before he could get another word out, Soda and Pony came through the front door, carrying on like the teenaged boys they had been before the accident.


	2. Chapter 2

DISCLAIMER: We do not own the Outsiders nor are we profiting financially from this work in any way.

A/N: Once again, many thanks to our wonderful beta, ShotgunOpera, who rocks hard core.

* * *

Sarah placed her white sundress on the hook behind her door, trying to decide which shoes to wear. Her best friend, Debbie, was laying on her stomach on the bed, flipping through a _Seventeen_ magazine, her nail polish bag next to her. "What color nail polish do you want?" she asked as Sarah pulled out her mother's old red open-toed heels and placed them near her door.

"Red," she told her friend, grabbing her red scarf off her makeshift vanity. She cringed when she heard one of the boys yell a curse word out in the living room. "I will never understand why you wanted to come over here so badly," Sarah told her friend, rolling her eyes at the commotion coming from down the hall. "It's so much more peaceful at your house."

"Peaceful is boring," Debbie said, sitting up and smoothing her skirt over her lap. "Besides, your brother, Sodapop, is a doll."

"Gross, Debbie; he's my kid brother," Sarah told her, walking toward her bed and sitting down on the edge. "You wouldn't think he's so cute if you had to wash his underwear and smelly sweat socks." She sighed when Debbie got a dreamy look on her face. "Snap out if it!"

"Your problem is that you just don't appreciate good looking boys anymore," Debbie told her, flipping the page on her magazine. "It's like you're around them so much at home that you're immune to them."

"Sure, Debbie, I don't appreciate good looking boys," Sarah said, holding her left hand out to her friend. Debbie took one look at the ring on her finger and screeched. "Jesus, Debbie!"

"He gave you his ring!" Debbie squealed, holding her hand to examine the ring more closely.

"Of course he gave me his ring," Sarah told her friend, looking at her like she was nuts. "I'm his girl, who else would wear his ring?"

"I think it's sweet," Debbie said, taking out a bottle of cherry red nail polish for her nails. Sarah scowled a moment later when she heard her door open and looked up to find Sodapop standing in her doorway.

"Ever hear of knocking, Sodapop?" she asked, giving her brother a dirty look. "What if I wasn't decent?"

"You're never decent," Soda told his sister, sticking his tongue out at her. "Besides, it ain't like you've got anything I ain't seen before." He looked past her to see her friend stretched out on her bed and gave her one of his signature movie star grins.

"What do you want, Sodapop?" Sarah snapped at her brother.

"Huh?" Soda asked, giving her a strange look. "Oh yeah, Mr. Wonderful's on the phone."

"His name's Roger," she said, pushing past her brother, Debbie close on her heels. Sarah walked into the living where the phone was and grabbed it away from Two-Bit before he had too much opportunity to say anything to embarrass her. She took it into the kitchen so she could have a little privacy, the phone cord following behind her. She heard his protests from the other room and rolled her eyes. Was a little privacy really too much to ask for? "Hey, Roger," Sarah greeted, a smile on her face as she twirled the phone cord around her finger.

"Hey babe," Roger said, sitting down on the edge of his bed, wondering what his girlfriend was up to in a house full of greasers.

"Sorry about Two-Bit," she said, frowning when Darry walked into the kitchen. "What's going on?"

Roger shook his head. It didn't take a rocket scientist to pick up on the fact that she was irritated by her brothers' friends.

"I know we're going to the dinner dance tonight at the club, but I was kind of hoping we could get together for a little while before that. Maybe go get a couple of sodas and go for a drive?"

Sarah sighed; she'd have loved to get out of her house for a while, especially with her boyfriend, but she wasn't the type of girl to dump her friends for a boy. No matter how cute he was. She frowned. "I can't; I promised Debbie I'd hang out with her today," she told him, watching Darry pour a glass of lemonade and pretend that he wasn't eavesdropping on her conversation.

Before she had a chance to respond, Debbie had hit her in the arm and was giving her a look that clearly told her she thought her friend was crazy. Sarah covered the mouthpiece with her hand to keep Roger from hearing them.

"You go spend some time with Roger, I'm heading home," she told her, rolling her eyes when Sarah started to protest. "Seriously Sarah, are you that dense? You don't blow off spending time with a guy like Roger to hang out with your friends."

"But you've been complaining that we never get to spend time together anymore," Sarah said, giving Debbie a confused look. "He'll understand …"

"God, you really are dense, aren't you?" Debbie asked, shaking her head as she put her purse on her shoulder. "We spent time together. Now we're done. Now it's time for you to go hang out with your boyfriend for a while."

Darry raised an eyebrow over their exchange. He didn't like the idea of his sister's whole life revolving around her boyfriend, no matter who he was. And he really didn't like that her friends were telling her that it should.

Sarah was about to protest further when she heard Roger's voice over the phone line again and was forced to take her hand off the mouthpiece to answer him.

"Baby, you still there?" Roger asked as he lay down on his bed, wondering what the heck was going on that she was putting him on hold over.

Sarah removed her hand from the receiver. "I'm still here." She shot Debbie a look as she headed out of the kitchen toward the front door. "And it looks like I'm free this afternoon after all."

"Great," he said, grinning. "I'll see you in about twenty minutes."

Sarah smiled as they said their goodbyes and hung up the phone. Dallas glanced at her. "You know, I saw your boyfriend at the drive-in with some brunette the other night."

Sarah frowned; leave it to Dallas Winston say something stupid to bring her down from her good mood. "Don't go trying to start trouble in my relationship just because you and Sylvia are on the rocks again."

"Seeing your boyfriend steppin' out on you ain't got nothin' to do with me and Sylvia," Dallas argued. "You think I wanted to see that shit?"

Sarah scowled. "Roger wouldn't do that to me," she told him, trying not to let anyone see that she was having doubts.

If she were truly being honest with herself, she would have had to admit that Dallas probably wasn't lying. He might have been a jerk, but she didn't really think he'd make something like that up just to bug her. Darry would kick his ass and they all knew it. That left her to wonder: was she not giving him enough attention? Was she not letting him go far enough and making him feel like he had to go looking for it somewhere else? Her stomach churned at the thought. She'd been letting him go further than she was really comfortable going just to try to keep him happy, but she knew he was still mad that she wouldn't go all the way with him.

Dallas glanced at Sarah when she didn't lash out him and knew he'd struck a nerve.

"I love Roger and I know Roger loves me," she told him, stubbornly refusing to let him see that his accusations had had any effect on her.

"Just not enough to keep him from steppin' out on you," Dallas told her again.

"Shut up, Dallas," Sarah snapped, unable to stop herself from playing with the cross on her neck.

"Knock it off, Dallas," Darry told his friend, seeing that his claims had gotten to Sarah. He didn't like seeing her reacting that way to what Dallas had said; it made it look like she might know there was some truth behind his accusations.

"You'd rather I keep it to myself?" Dallas asked, glancing over at Darry with a dirty look on his face. Darry didn't get a chance to answer before Sarah started up again.

"Yes! It's not like you really care; you just like seeing me upset!" She glared at him one last time before turning on her heel and heading back to her room.

Darry waited until she was out of earshot before answering Dallas.

"She's not going to listen to anything you have to say, Dal," Darry told him. "She knows you can't stand the fact that she's going out with Roger."

"I can't believe you're letting her go out with Sheldon, Dar," Sodapop said, walking into the living room. "The guy's a sleaze and you know it."

"It ain't up to me - or any of you - to tell Sarah who she should be dating," he told his brother, sending a warning look to all of the boys. "She's been going with Roger for better than a year and that's a big deal to a girl. And as long as she knows y'all don't like him, she ain't gonna believe a word y'all say."

There were plenty of grumbled responses, but they all knew he was right. Sarah was never going to believe a word they said against her boyfriend, whether it was true or not. Short of catching him in the act herself, nothing would ever convince her he wasn't a great guy.

"Where are you going?" Sodapop asked his sister when she reappeared twenty minutes later wearing her white sundress.

"Out," Sarah told him, grabbing her purse. Her nails were finally done, no thanks to Debbie. Her friend was completely useless. She heard a car horn outside and started for the door.

Sodapop rolled his eyes. He hated that his sister thought that a guy honking his horn for her was acceptable.

"He should at least come to the door, Sarah," he told her, looking up from his cards. "Sandy's dad don't let her out unless I do."

"Yeah, well, Sandy don't have a whole house full of boys sitting around her living room waiting to be all nasty to you," Sarah said, sticking her tongue out at her younger brother. Her older brother walked into the room, having heard their exchange from the kitchen.

"Darry, tell her I'm right."

"Soda's right, Sarah," Darry told his sister, rolling his eyes at the shocked look that crossed her face. "Roger should know by now that he needs to come up to the door to get you. Mom and Dad never let you go running out to the car when he honked his horn; I don't know what makes him think I'm going to let you."

Sarah resisted the urge to stomp her foot and sat on the arm of the recliner, crossing her arms across her chest. She scowled when the horn went off again. "Darry," she said, giving him a pointed look.

The horn sounded once again and Dallas chuckled. "He ain't too bright, is he?" Dallas asked, placing his feet up on the coffee table.

"Shut up, Dallas Winston! This is all your fault, you know," Sarah told him, shoving his feet off the table. "And keep your filthy boots off my nice clean coffee table!"

"Like hell it is," he told her, smirking as he put his feet back up on the table. "Ain't my fault Mr. Wonderful thinks he can blow his horn and get you to come a runnin'."

"His name is Roger," Sarah snarled. "Asshole," she muttered under her breath. Dallas snorted in response; he liked it when he could get her worked up enough to make her swear.

"Sarah Margaret, do you want to spend the rest of the day in your bedroom?" Darry asked, not having missed her swearing. "I'm not going to warn you about your mouth again."

"No, Darry," she answered, smiling when she heard heavy footsteps on the porch steps. "Ha," she said, sticking her tongue out at Dallas. "Can I at least be the one to answer the door?" she asked her older brother, a pleading look on her face as she stood up.

"I'll get it," Darry sighed, heading for the front door. He missed the days when she thought boys had cooties. He wondered for a moment whether their father had felt the same way.

Sarah stomped her foot and Dallas started laughing at her.

"How old are you, anyway, four?" he asked, rolling his eyes at her when she stuck her tongue out at him again. "Yeah, way to prove my point for me, doll."

She ignored him and made her way over to the front door, hoping to save her boyfriend from being lectured by her older brother. She'd thought that Darry liked Roger, but seeing as how he agreed with Soda, she was beginning to have her doubts.

"Hey, Roger," she said, her face lighting up when he smiled at her. "I'm ready, let's go."

"Hey babe," he said, leaning down to give her a quick kiss. "You look nice."

Sarah resisted the urge to scowl when she heard a growl of protest from one of the boys. "Thanks. We should go," she told him; letting her fingers link with his when he took her hand.

They walked back outside together, passing Steve on their way. She wasn't sure she liked the look he was giving them but decided to put it out of her mind and enjoy her time with her boyfriend.

XXX

Sarah placed her soda on the top of Roger's dash once he parked his red Corvair down by the river bottom. It was the place where Roger and his friends hosted their infamous beer blasts at night but during the day it was a nice oasis. "This is nice," Sarah said, smiling as she looked out the window one last time before looking back at her boyfriend. "Peaceful."

"Yeah," Roger said, smiling over at her when he cut the engine. He took a moment to look her over, feeling the crotch of his khakis tighten a bit as he appreciated the way her curves were displayed in her white sundress. "Quiet. Private." He reached over for her and was more than a little irritated when she didn't pick up on his advances.

"We went to go see Gram this week," she told him, playing with the cross around her neck as she stared out the windshield. "Sodapop and Ponyboy went with us."

"Yeah?" Roger asked, feigning interest.

"Yeah, she called me Sarah again," she sniffed, and Roger tried not to cringe. God he hated it when she cried. "She didn't even recognize Ponyboy or Sodapop."

He hoped she wasn't planning to drone on and on about her grandmother all afternoon. He'd much rather spend the afternoon in the back seat of his car with her doing much more entertaining things than talking about some nutso old lady who couldn't even remember her own grandchildren. He was more concerned that _he_ was going to go nutso if he didn't get any action soon.

"I promised her I'd spend some time alone with her next week," Sarah told him, oblivious to the fact that he wasn't paying a bit of attention to her.

"That's nice of you," Roger told her, missing the fact that she wasn't exactly thrilled at the prospect.

"Maybe I'll ask Two-Bit to take me," she said, seeming to be talking more to herself than to him. "Gram knows him."

"That'd be a good idea," he said, patting the seat next to him to encourage her to slide over next to him.

Sarah bit her lip, hesitating before sliding over next to him and cuddling into his side. She closed her eyes, letting her cheek rest against him and breathing in the smell of his cologne. Once upon a time it was a scent that comforted her but for some reason it didn't have the same effect on her anymore. She tried to bury the realization that it was because she knew there was more than a little truth to the allegations Dallas had made about seeing him with other girls. "She keeps asking me where Sarah Margaret is and why she isn't coming to visit her anymore. I don't know what to say to her … I don't want her to think I'm a bad granddaughter because she's think I'm never there."

He started running his finger along the soft skin of her upper arm in an effort to distract her. He was really getting tired of hearing about her grandmother. Especially when all he wanted to hear were the noises she made when he was touching her.

He grinned when felt the goose bumps rise on her arms and she leaned her head against his shoulder, sliding an arm around his waist.

"I don't want her to hate me because she thinks I'm not coming to visit her anymore."

"I'm sure she doesn't hate you," he told her, pressing his lips to her temple. "It's good of you to keep going down there when she probably wouldn't even notice if you didn't show up at all." He reached for her face, turning it toward him so he could try to kiss her properly. He groaned when she hesitated to let him kiss her; he knew he'd screwed up and said the wrong thing.

Sarah winced at his last comment. She knew Roger wasn't one for that type of serious conversation and she hurried to change the subject. "Yeah, I guess you're right. So anyway, I was thinking about wearing my new blue dress tonight," she said, looking up at him. Roger was grateful for the change of subject but still wasn't satisfied. He hadn't driven her down to the river bottom to talk about her grandmother or a stupid dress; that was for damn sure. He looked down at her, really looking at her. She was pretty; there was no question about that, but lord she was a pain in the ass to date. She looked up at him and his attention was pulled back to her. "Is that okay?"

"Yeah," he said, shifting his position so he could kiss her. He'd had enough conversation and was ready to start playing ball. "You look real nice in blue, baby."

Sarah smiled in response to his compliment, even though she wasn't entirely sure it was sincere. She'd learned a long time ago that with Roger she'd have to take what she could get. "I hope it looks okay. I spent weeks making it."

"I'm sure you'll look great," he told her before silencing her with a kiss. He was relieved when she went along with him, thinking that maybe the afternoon wouldn't be a total bust and maybe – just maybe – he wouldn't have to go pay a visit to one of his other girls to get taken care of.

Sarah had managed to somehow get a look at Roger's watch and was shocked to see how late it had gotten. She really needed to get home if she was going to have any prayer of being ready in time for dinner. She tried to pull away from him but it proved to be more difficult than usual. She twisted in his arms, turning her face away from him.

"Roger … stop," she told him, trying to put her hands between them to push him away. "You need to get me home so I can get ready or else we won't have a prayer of making it to dinner on time."

He was just starting to get warmed up and was going to try moving things along when she first tried to pull away from him. He groaned but pulled away from her when he heard what she was saying, still unable to keep the disgruntled look from his face. He'd barely gotten past first base but he knew that if she was worried about getting home and getting ready for their date he wasn't going to get any further than that anyway.

"All right," he said, straightening up in his seat. Kissing hadn't been much more than a tease; his khakis were now almost unbearably tight in the crotch. She stayed on the seat beside him for the duration of the ride back to her house and gave him a quick kiss before hopping out of the car and heading back inside to get ready for their real date. He watched as she walked up the walk to her run down house and checked his watch. He grinned; two hours gave him more than enough time to pay a visit to someone who wouldn't have any problem making his khakis more comfortable.


End file.
